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It's almost like having the kind of access, like, to a time machine. I'm just going back and forth in my own mind between the different scenarios that I could have been in, or what would have happened if this or that never happened. What if I would have just done this? What if I had never done that? Would everything be different? Would everything be better? Would it all work out for the best in the end despite what usually goes wrong with those kinds of thoughts? I can't even tell anymore. My life is so hectic right now, and things are really starting to pile up on me as it starts to sink in how much bigger my responsibilities are than they used to be. It doesn't help that I'm starting to feel pretty burned out at work. It doesn't mean that I dont love my job…it's just that it's really stressful, and the deadlines are always demanding, and I'm tired of always feeling like I have something to prove. I keep asking myself questions like, "Are things going to get better?" "Can I find happiness here?" "What do I do if they don't?" I'm not sure what answers I'll get to any of these questions when it comes down to it. But I suppose even if the answers are bad ones, at least its better than being left in the dark about them forever. There's always that piece of me that wonders what the story would have been like if I hadn't done this or if I never did that. But I guess we all wonder about these things sometimes, and we tend to put them on the backburner because we don't want to deal with them or we don't want to be reminded of them. Its like its all still out there, and it's like it is, but its not anymore. Its all mixed up with who I am now. And maybe things are better for us now, but they wont let me forget the past, so nothing has changed at all. It'll always come up again in one form or another. It's like there's all these moments that I want to go back to to tell myself something. Like, "Don't do this. No, don't do it." Of course, if I had listened to myself in the past, everything probably would have turned out differently. But maybe everything is just fine the way it is now, and all of this doesn't matter at all to me anymore. Maybe this is just my way of expressing myself creatively by writing down my thoughts for once instead of talking about them with someone else. Maybe this whole thing that I'm living right now is nothing like what was written here before. It's just what I'm living right now. I am myself right now. It's just me, and my life, and this is how it is. I am who I am right now, not who I'll be later. I am what happened to me before, not what will happen to me next. * Re-translation of the official English patch by Dynamic Designs * "It was late in the afternoon when they arrived in Winterhill.[1] The snow was still falling when they finished re-loading their wagon for the dirt road that continued into town. cfa1e77820
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